Local Man Claims GNOME is Root Cause of World Problems
Whilst reassuring reporters on Wednesday that he was “not at all a loser with no life”, local man Phil Avant says that the GNOME desktop is to blame for “pretty much all current world problems”.
GNOME and KDE Campaigners Violently Clash Over Nothing at All, 'Both Sides to Blame'
Reports coming out of Columbus, Ohio that are sure to rock the FOSS world stating that campaigners for GNOME and KDE projects have violently clashed at a software convention, over pretty much nothing at all.
Man Wishes He Could chmod 644 Girlfriend
Speaking to reporters on Friday whilst keeping a stern eye on his girlfriend’s Facebook Messenger status, local man Hugo Richards lamented at how easy life was managing a Linux system compared to managing his relationship.
“I’m in full control of my operating system and I know everything that gets installed or stored on it,” he said, with the slightest grimace as he stared at the sudden green ‘online’ symbol light up on his girlfriend’s Messenger profile, before muttering, “God, what’s she up to now?
Study: Friedrich Nietzsche Most Likely To Be A Gentoo User
What operating system would famous German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, use if he was alive today? That’s a question that a study has tried to answer, according to latest reports.
New Owner of Secondhand ThinkPad Blissfully Unaware Just How Much It Was Used to Watch Porn
Setting himself up for a relaxing and casual evening of reading and posting on the Trisquel forums, the new owner of the ThinkPad x200 was incredibly unaware just how much hardcore porn had been consumed on the machine, say reports.
Long Thought Extinct Species of Human Found in GNU Social
A long thought extinct species of humankind has been discovered hiding deep within the depths of the little known and rarely spoken about “GNU Social” network, according to researchers at the Smithsonian Institute in Washington, D.C.
Microsoft Announces Update ActiveSense
Looking to alleviate one of the biggest bugbears of Windows users, Microsoft has announced a new technology for the Microsoft Update system - called ActiveSense.
The Redmond giant says that it recognises that many of its users find the lengthy and often unwelcome updates, that seem to happen at the most inconvenient times, very unpleasant and has looked to develop the new ActiveSense feature to fix the problem once and for all.
New FreeBSD User Sees Himself as Tech King of the Household
Seated upon the “throne” from IKEA that he received as a gift from his mother to help support his back during homework hours, local free software enthusiast, Jonathan Goodspeed, gazed around the room as the light emitting from his newly installed FreeBSD desktop showered him in undisputed glory, say reports.
Abused, Battered USB Flash Drive Dreading Distro-Hopper's Next Foray
“Please, not again. Not again!”
Those were the pitiful cries heard from a scratched up, faded and battered USB flash drive on Monday evening as it’s owner inserted it once again, preparing to make it host to their latest distro hopping adventure.