Man Pledges to Try Just One More Desktop Theme

By Staff Writers

Amidst the increasingly agitated calls of his wife that dinner was ready, 44 year old local man, Stephen Levine, pledged he would install just one more desktop theme, sources say.

“Honey, your dinner is going to go cold, for God’s sake!” came the shout from the other room. Mr Levine would not be deterred, however, quickly hammering the Enter key and extracting a new theme archive to his ~/.themes directory, ready to transform his desktop into something vastly superior to the 7 different themes he installed just 10 minutes earlier.

“This will be it, this will be the one, and I’ll be done,” he said, as the voices of his three children joined the chorus of their mother in the background that his dinner was, in fact, going very cold. “New icons, new wallpaper, new theme, man am I going to have an epic workspace now.”

“He always does this,” Mr. Levine’s wife, Sarah, told reporters. “He gives more personal attention to his damn desktop than he does to me. Should I dress myself up in some variant of the Arc darker theme? Get a facelift? Tattoo myself all over with Numix circle icons? I don’t know anymore. I’m not sure how much actual work he gets done either.”

Mr. Levine says that his wife and family “just don’t understand” and that his theming process is actually a very important component to his productivity. “No way can I get any serious work done without a wallpaper I’m happy with. And the GTK theme? Don’t even think about it, unless it’s a really satisfying one. What am I, some Windows peasant?” he said while browsing with a look of sheer determination.

“It’s kind of like feng shui, or something. Unless my desktop looks and feels awesome, how can I be expected to do anything? Sarah just doesn’t get it. She’s always ‘get off the computer and take out the trash’ or ‘honey can you go get more milk’ or ‘can you please feed the kids’. You know, really unimportant stuff. But anyway, I’m just going to install one more theme which looks really rad in the screenshots, I’m sure this will be the last one I try.”

According to latest reports, Mrs. Levine is considering taking matters into her own hands. “Perhaps it’s time I go and try out some new husbands,” she said with folded arms, while staring into the deep dark void that is Stephen Levine’s personal office, where only the faint light from his monitor was emitting. “That said, I’m just glad he hasn’t discovered the Unix Porn subreddit yet.”