Ubuntu Fan Wakes from Two Year Coma, Excited to See New Unity and Convergence Developments

By Staff Writers

The family of teenager Micheal Robertson gathered to his bedside at their local hospital, welcoming the young man back into reality as he had finally come out of a two year coma, following an incident where he was hit by a car after being distracted by Mark Shuttleworth’s private jet, Canonical One, flying overhead.

Reports say Mr. Robertson is a “huge fan” of all things to do with the Ubuntu operating system and upon greeting his family, they apparently were not at all surprised that one of his first questions was regarding the GNU/Linux OS.

“But hey, hey what about Ubuntu?” he had asked enthusiastically. “Anything new and exciting? Oh boy, I just cannot wait to see how Unity has improved! And what about the Ubuntu phones? They must be everywhere by now, surely!”

Mr. Robertson’s mother, Jacinta, was suitably supportive but had to break the news gently, saying, “Well, I think they’re doing okay with IoT and server stuff, son”. But his brother, Gregory, chimed in, “Sorry bro, Unity is kinda dead. So is the whole convergence thing.”

Sources say Mr. Robertson then went even more pale than he had at the depths of his coma, unsure whether this was real life or just fantasy. Things only escalated when family members informed the increasingly frantic teenager that Ubuntu would be adopting the GNOME desktop as the default desktop experience with the upcoming Ubuntu 17.10, with him repeatedly trying to jump out the nearby several stories high window. “Well, at least we have Mir to play around with, right? Right?” Mr Robertson said finally, after being restrained and eventually calming down.

Mr. Robertson’s family told reporters that they will “wait until Micheal is home and safe” before finally breaking the news that Ubuntu will be Wayland only and that they will be “particularly gentle” in breaking the news to him that Ubuntu has been overtaken by Mint, Debian and Manjaro on DistroWatch.com.